


Fiending for the Sunshine

by deannawol



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Brad "Cheeks" Bell RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Promiscuity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 23:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/667802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deannawol/pseuds/deannawol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>I can't keeping touching you like this</i><br/>If it’s just temporary bliss</p><p>After the most amiciable divorce in history, Adam brought Kris into his home. When Kris started to explore the gay scene, Adam introduced him to Cheeks. That's what friends do, that's what friends are for. Adam is always going to be Kris' friend but now that Kris isn't the straight guy Adam thought he was, is it really best that they stay just friends? Or can Adam, with some timely butt-kicking by Katy, finally be brave enough to ask for more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cover and Lyrics

**Author's Note:**

  * For [YoukeyH (Vampisticated)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vampisticated/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Temporary Bliss](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/16793) by youkeyh. 



> This work was written for Kradam Reverse Big Bang. I was a little hesitant to take on the challenge at the start but I'm so glad that I did. Youkeyh created a [wonderful piece](http://i.imgur.com/dnVsI.jpg) which inspired the story, and then she created so many more pieces. I've been thoroughly spoiled by all the work that she's put in. Please say thank you to her and [praise her artwork](http://archiveofourown.org/works/668716?view_full_work=true).
> 
> I also had two great betas: AraSigyrn and auroradreams. Ara put up with so much whimpering from me in terms of trying to get this finished and then fixing all my mistakes. Auroradreams went through the mostly fixed version and caught the last few errors. Any remaining errors are mine.
> 
> Finally, to the Kradam Reverse Big Bang challenge: Thank you. I needed to get back into writing after hitting a the world's biggest writing block and you helped me to break it down brick by brick. Next project will be the Kradam Big Bang :)

 

_**Temporary Bliss by Cab** _

I come over  
Quarter past two  
Love in my eyes  
Blinded by you  
Just to get a taste of heaven  
I'm on my knees  
  
I can't help it  
I'm addicted  
But I can't stand the  
Pain inflicted  
In the morning  
You're not holding on to me  
  
Tell me what’s the point of doing this every night  
What you're giving me  
Is nothing but a heart  
It's a lullaby  
Gonna kill my dreams, oh  
This is the last time  
Baby make up your mind  
  
'Cause I can't keep sleeping in your bed  
If you keep messing with my head  
Before I slip under your sheets  
Can you give me something, please?  
I can't keeping touching you like this  
If it’s just temporary bliss  
Just temporary bliss  
  
We were on fire  
Now, we’re frozen  
There's no desire  
Nothing spoken  
You're just playing  
I keep waiting for your heart  
(I keep waiting for you)  
  
I am fiending for the sunshine  
To show our love in a good light  
Give me reason  
I am pleading to the stars  
(Tell me)  
Tell me what’s the point of doing this every night  
What you're giving me  
Is nothing but a heart  
It's a lullaby __  
  
Gonna kill my dreams, oh  
This is the last time  
Baby make up your mind  
  
'Cause I can't keep sleeping in your bed  
If you keep messing with my head  
Before I slip under your sheets  
Can you give me something, please?  
I can't keeping touching you like this  
If it’s just temporary bliss  
Just temporary bliss  
  
I'm your one and only, only when you're lonely  
(Na-na-na-na na-na-na-na) x2  
  
I'm your one and only, only when you're lonely  
Baby why you callin' me?  
Not another one  
Not try'na be your whole life  
I don't wanna fall asleep  
  
I'm your one and only, only when you're lonely  
Baby why you callin’ me?  
Not another one  
Not try'na be your whole life  
  
I can't keep sleeping in your bed  
If you keep messing with my head  
Before I slip under your sheets  
Can you give me something, please?

  
I can't keeping touching you like this  
If it’s just temporary bliss  
Just temporary bliss  
Temporary bliss

  
I can't keep sleeping in your bed  
If you keep messing with my head  
I can't keep feeling love like this  
It’s not worth temporary bliss

 


	2. Chapter 1

"Oh my God, you should have seen it. He just whipped his fly open and there was this massive hunk of metal just hanging off the end of his dick.  It looked just like the huge fishing weight that my dad got from one of his cousins when I was a kid and so help me, I swear to God, when he started to get hard, it didn't get any bigger. If anything, it got smaller. How the heck does that even work?" Kris laughed hard enough to slop beer out over the lip of the bottle, "Have you ever seen that?"

Adam shook his head, smirking over the rim of his homemade Cosmo while he pretended to think about it, "In all my time on the WeHo clubbing scene, I've never had a guy that shrank when I started working on him.  But don’t worry about it honey, you’ve still got your training wheels on.  You’ll work it out, baby!"

“Fuck you,” Kris elbowed him, or tried to, but the three bottles of beer and the half bottle of bourbon made his aim terrible, something that Adam was really grateful for.

Kris Allen sharpened his elbows. How did America's shittiest tabloids - who had been the first to break the news about the divorce - miss such a crucial detail? That should be headline news somewhere, like the front page of USA Today, or something. Those things should have been registered as deadly weapons.

"Well, we don't all have twinks lining up around the block," Kris smirked up at Adam. "My momma says we all gotta start somewhere.  I might be new to this whole guy on guy thing, but I know how to work a dick.  Been workin’ my own since I was ten."

"Ten?  Precocious little brat, weren't you?" Adam snorted with laughter, "Oh my God, I did not need to know that Kristopher.  Thanks for the mental scars.”

Adam rubbed at his eyes, trying to banish the image of a teeny-tiny (well, teenier-tinier) Kris hunched over a Victoria’s Secret catalogue and ogling the lingerie models.  There were some questions that he really didn’t want to answer without significantly more alcohol and a heck of a lot more distance between him and Kris than a single pillow. 

"So, are you gonna come out with Brad and Cass and me this Friday?" Kris looked over at Adam with big brown puppy dog eyes. "It's going to be so amazing. Brad's going to get me one of the go-go dancers from Rage because he knows the stage manager or something and then we're going to hit up Fubar and then there's this private party that he knows about that's gonna be on 'til dawn."

Adam shook his head, "I'd love to, babe, but I've got a morning show and two interviews on Saturday morning and Melinia said that she'll hang me up by my balls if I'm not in bed early on Friday night."

Kris pouted, "Your handler is mean. You want I should get my momma to call her and tell her to let you come out to play?"

"Personal assistant, babe," Adam smirked. "And while that would be a great conversation to listen in on, I think Momma Allen would come down here and hand me my ass if she found out half the things that you were getting up to, and we both know that Sasha would tell her every little detail."

Kris looked horrified, "She wouldn't!"

"She totally would. Anything that'll help her win the argument."

Kris' pout grew until there was nothing but bottom lip wibbling at Adam.

"I'll think about it," Adam finally caved.

Two seconds later, he'd thought about it and the answer was most definitely no.  Kris might still find the whole gay scene magical; pretty boys and good times, everybody dancing and groping, drinks being bought for him and dark corners that held the promise of things that were better than five star hotels.  Adam, as much as he hated to admit this, was kinda over the club scene. Quick hand jobs in the bathroom, fumbling with condoms in a bathroom stall, trying to figure out if the guy you were about to fuck was worth the risk or if he was going to turn into some psycho stalker that killed your dog just to get your attention. Not that Adam had a dog, but still... WeHo debauchery just wasn’t him anymore.

A few too-close calls on the psycho front over the years before he was famous (okay, Adam didn't think of himself of famous, but the paparazzi on the street seemed to think he was, and with four platinum records on the wall, he couldn’t really argue with them).  He didn't want some weird-ass groupie following him home and he really didn't want the disappointed/worried phone call from his mom after he made the front page of every paper in America.

Adam still loved clubbing and that amazing atmosphere that could only be found in clubs; he couldn't just cut loose and relax anymore. There was always someone with a camera phone, and two seconds later, the photo was trending on Twitter.  Adam loved that people were listening to his music and wanting that connection badly enough to want to know what he was doing every second of the day, but he missed his privacy. He missed the anonymity that came from dressing outrageously and hitting a packed club. Kris wasn't there yet and Adam couldn't bring himself to end Kris' WeHo dreams after years of encouragement.

Since Kris had signed the divorce papers – ridiculously civil because this _was_ Kris and Katy – and moved to Los Angeles, Kris had been making up for lost time, with a lot of help from Brad.  Brad always had loved a project.  Somehow, and Adam still couldn’t follow the story no matter how many times they tried to tell him, they’d become best buddies, which meant that Brad now spent even more time in Adam’s house.  Adam could tell; his vodka bill had tripled in the last few weeks and was nostalgic for the days when Kris stuck to American beer or bourbon.  Thanks to Cheeks' bartending skills, Kris was now a paid up member of the sparkly umbrella club and loving it.

But seriously, if Adam had known that inviting Kris to come live with him would result in Cheeks all but moving back in, he…  Well, he’d still have invited him but he would have put down actual ground rules, like no drinking before twelve and no bringing home anonymous hookups just because they were cute and had a mouth like a vacuum cleaner – or at the very least, no loud morning-after sex on the couch while Adam was on speaker phone with Good Morning America to promote his newest singles.

Damn, but he missed just cutting loose.  Stupid being responsible.  Maybe this Friday night he could go, just for an hour or two.  Maybe?  Adam tried to remember what his Friday afternoon schedule looked like.

“I totally need to get laid,” Kris whined.

“Oh my god, Kristopher.  It’s been all of what?  Twelve hours?” Adam rolled his eyes and tried to sound a little less catty. 

“Yeah, but that was…” Kris titled his head to the side and almost missed his mouth when he went to take a drink.  In retrospect, Adam really should have been counting how many of those he was having, “really bad.  I need to get laid good.  Wait, that didn’t sound right.  I need to get laid well?  That didn’t sound any better.”

Adam plucked the bottle out of Kris’ hand, “What you need to do is go to bed, Kris, and sleep.”

“I…” Kris stopped, “Yeah, you’ve got internet and I have a laptop.  That could totally work.”

Adam really absolutely did not need to think about Kris naked and jerking off in front of his computer, the light from the screen catching on his bare chest and his hand moving up and down faster and faster as he watched some twink taking it on both ends and…  Stop.  Seriously, he was going to stop thinking about it!    He was totally over his crush on Kris.  Totally.  Well, mostly.  Okay, 'over it' was a totally subjective phrase and totally wasn’t going to happen, and even if anything was going to, it wouldn’t be while Kris was drunk out of his mind or panting after the latest pretty boy who got paid to fake it for the camera.

Adam got Kris to his room and narrowly escaped being flashed when Kris shed his jeans as he crossed the threshold – Adam totally didn’t look, not even through his fingers.  He absolutely couldn’t tell you that Kris had the hottest ass this side of LA, despite the finger shaped bruises on it that made Adam want to growl.  He left Kris snuffling into his pillow and headed back to the den to clean up.  Pizza boxes in the recycling, low fat Chinese leftovers in the fridge for tomorrow, bottles in the recycling box out in the garage and scuff marks out of the sofa cushions.  He'd just about finished when someone knocked on the door.

Adam looked at his watch.  Two-thirty in the morning?  If this was Brad then Adam was not going to be responsible for his actions.  Adam stomped to the door and threw it open.

It wasn’t Brad.

It _so_ wasn’t Brad.

_He_ was tall, dark haired and _hot_!  Adam hadn’t ordered a hottie.  His upstairs brain kicked in.  _Adam_ hadn’t…  Damnit Kris!

“Hi, I’m hotstuff911, but you can call me Preston,” the hottie on the doorstep purred – honest to God purred.  “You’re exactly like your _Grindr_ profile, baby.”

Preston – because Adam was _so_ not calling him hotstuff911 – stepped in closer, crowding into Adam’s personal space, his hands going to Adam’s belt and Hell no!

“Kris, your… person is here,” Adam yelled loud enough to wake up the neighbors.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Kris shouted back, footsteps echoing down the stairs.

He came shuffling around the corner then suddenly stopped, socks sliding on the hardwood floor and then tried to look nonchalant – a very hard thing to do given how drunk he was only half an hour ago and the fact that he may have stopped trying to move his legs but that didn’t mean that he’d stopped moving.  He crashed into the wall and damn all tiny Southern hotasses, made it look natural.  The towel around his waist stayed in place and no, Adam wasn’t even a little disappointed.  Kris gave Preston a little half smirk that would have made Adam’s dick jump if he wasn’t mad at Kris right this second. 

“Hey, I’m Kris and you’re hot!”

Adam groaned at the line because, really?  That was the best that Kris could come up with?

“You’re exactly like your _Grindr_ profile, baby.”

Adam looked from Preston to Kris and back again and threw his hands up in the air.  Not even a different pet name?  They deserved each other, really they did.  Adam walked away, shaking his head.  Hopefully they’d be quiet at least…

There was a loud moan came from behind him and Adam looked back just in time to see Preston chewing on Kris’ neck and was that Preston's hand sneaking under the towel?  With Adam's front door still wide open?  This was not happening.  Adam walked back over and shut the door with a thump.  He liked his neighbors.  This was a good neighborhood, a respectable neighborhood with good people and great security.  Adam stopped.  How the hell had Preston gotten past the security guards?

Another moan and a grunt and Adam really didn’t want to know.  Screw it; he was spending the night in the pool house.


	3. Chapter 2

"And then he did this thing with his tongue, where he licked my…” Kris blushed bright red, “you know.” 

“Oh my God, you are working your way through WeHo’s cutest and you are still such a virgin," Brad sipped at his cocktail and smirked.  "It’s called rimming, baby boy, and it is totes awesome, isn’t it?  It would be my favorite thing if I'd never discovered blowjobs and, you know, actual sex.”

Adam was not listening to this.  He really wasn’t.  He was especially not thinking about Kris spread out with his ass in the air, his hole glistening with spit and slick and…  Adam needed another drink.  A great, big one.  With lots of alcohol in it, and then topped up with more alcohol.  He honestly didn’t care if it burned all the way down as long as it started with his ears.

“Course, you know who the King, or should I say Queen, of rimming is?” Brad purred.

Adam wondered if the table was real marble or that fake shit that just cracked when you banged your head off it. 

“No, who?” Kris asked, elbowing Adam as he moved closer to Brad.

Adam didn’t look up.  Adam didn’t look anywhere except down at his drink, which was a lot closer to empty than it had been before Brad started talking about rimming. 

“No, really?” Kris’ voice rose sharply and Adam rested his forehead against the cold marble, “Adam? Really?”

Why the hell had he agreed to come out with Kris and Brad?  He could have been home.  Alone.  Watching cable.  Prepping for interviews.  Yeah, okay, so that was why he was out tonight, but did they have to talk about rimming and Adam in the same sentence?

“You never told me that,” Kris turned to Adam.

“There are lots of things that I haven’t told you,” Adam groaned into the tabletop.  “And I’m still not talking about this with you.”

“Okay,” Kris rubbed a hand over his shoulder blades and Adam started to relax.   “But can I at least ask you questions?  Just in general, I mean, Brad winds up just telling me stories.  Wait, that must mean that…”  Kris swung around to gape at Brad, “You didn’t tell me you were talking about Adam when you told me...”

“Ixnay on the Adam-ay,” Brad hissed as he picked up a brand new sparkly pink drink.

“Talking about Adam?” Adam sat up and looked at Kris.  “What was Brad saying about me?”

“You know I’m not sure that I should…” Kris trailed off.  “It was nothing bad, just you know…  sex stuff.”

Seriously?  Brad was telling Kris about stuff that they did back when they were going out?  Private stuff?  He trusted Kris.  He even trusted Brad, kinda, but there were some things that were private and even if he liked – loved – Kris, he didn’t want it to be talked about.  He didn’t want to be some kind of lesson. 

Do this, don’t do that. 

Oh and just by the way, Adam can do things with his tongue that will make you curl your toes. 

“You know what? I don’t even want to know,” Adam downed the last of his drink as he stood up, pulling his phone out of his pocket.  “Talk about whatever you want to talk about but leave me the hell out of it.  Please.”

Adam waited outside, in the cold, in a t-shirt that was far too fucking thin for the midnight chill, regretting that he hadn’t thought to bring a jacket and waiting for his driver to come pick him up.

Who the hell did Brad think he was sharing that stuff with Kris?  Adam didn’t go around sharing sordid details of his past relationships with anyone, even Kris.  Especially Kris.  That was personal.  It was private.  Jeez, it was a sign of respect. 

When he got Brad alone, Adam was making himself a brand new Brad-skin scarf.  He would have preferred trousers but well, Brad was tiny.  Like Kris, but smaller and less cute and there went his mind again down the 'Kris is cute' road that he was fairly sure that he had put signs on, like diversion and road closed, and what the hell had been in that last drink?

“Are you okay?” Kris asked from right by his elbow, “Because you’re muttering to yourself and I’m fairly sure that’s not usual.  I mean, I know it’s not usual, but you seem a little… upset?”

“I’m fine, Kris,” Adam closed his eyes and took a breath.  “Really, I’m fine.  Go back in and keep Brad from like, dancing on the table or some stupid shit.”

“He was starting to strip when I left,” Kris smirked, “besides, you looked a little down and someone's gotta save the vanilla double-choc-chip ice cream from your hips.”

That made Adam smile. 

“Just so you know, when he was telling me stuff, Brad didn’t name names,” Kris linked arms with Adam and snuggled into his side, and Kris was a tiny ball of fire that just radiated heat through the thin cotton in seconds, right up to Adam's cheeks.  “I only just put it together in my head because of what he said tonight, which he only said 'cause he was drinking those little purple drinks which he was only drinking because the bartender is cute and Brad is trying to make Sean jealous because Sean thinks that they shouldn’t date while they’re filming.”

“They probably shouldn’t,” Adam nodded.

“But they’re so cute together,” Kris tilted his head in that so, so cute way that he had.  “And Brad says that Sean is great in bed.”

“Do I want to know how he…” Adam stopped.  “No, actually, I don’t want to know how Brad knows that.  Don’t tell me.  Never tell me.”

“Okay.  Okay, I won't,” Kris promised.

The car arrived and Adam hopped in, Kris snuggling up to him, his feet up on the leather seats and his head practically in Adam’s armpit, and God help him but Adam didn’t care.

“So…” Kris looked up at him and Adam was getting a bad feeling. “Queen of rimming?  That’s high praise from Cheeks.  You mind if I ask you questions?”

Adam looked up at the driver who was resolutely looking straight ahead with the discretion of a true professional.  Brad-skin scarf, Adam swore to fucking God, the next time he saw that puny little bitch he was actually gonna skin him.

“You have a laptop and I know for a fact that you can find porn on it.  Just learn to work a search engine and you’ll find everything you need,” Adam ran a hand through his hair.  “Why do you need to ask me questions?”

“Well, there are things that I just can’t find out about on the internet,” Kris whined and snuggled closer.  “Like…  Like why would you do it?  I mean, it’s licking ...down there, you know?  Why would anyone think of licking there?”

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to ten.  Twice.  Adam could see the driver's smirk in the rear view mirror before the driver reached over and the partition went up, giving Adam privacy that he didn’t want.

“I mean, I don’t look at an ass and think about how much I want to lick it,” Kris rolled over so that he was on his back on the seat, stretched out and with his head on Adam’s lap.  “Bite it maybe, but I don’t know about licking it.  Like when Preston went down on me, I seriously couldn’t stop thinking like ‘Did I wash properly? Does it smell?’ That sort of thing, you know?  How do you stop thinking about things like that?”

Adam was inches away from dumping Kris on the carpet and searching the minibar for something majorly alcoholic.  Forget TMI territory, this was way into "Oh God, why!?" territory and Adam totally did not need the visuals.  He’d gotten enough of those a few nights ago.

“Aaaadam?” Kris' lip puckered into a pout.  “Why do you like it?”

Kris wasn’t going to go away.  In fact, he was pouting and goddammit, Kris knew what that pout did to him.  Shit, this was going to be one of those conversations that Adam was going to regret, wasn't it?

He took a deep breath, “Okay, if we’re going to have this conversation, then there are going to be ground rules.  The first rule is going to be that neither of us are ever talking about this again.  The second rule is that as soon as we get home, I am getting very, very drunk.  You’re welcome to get very, very drunk as well, but the vodka is mine and I will totally give you all the wrong answers if you touch it.”

Kris laughed and the vibrations went straight to parts of Adam that he was denying existed for the rest of the conversation.

“I can live with those rules.  So, is there anything special that I need to do before someone licks my ass next time?”


	4. Chapter 3

Adam woke up and immediately regretted it.  In fact, he was regretting everything from drinking the last two-thirds of that bottle of tequila because he couldn't reach the vodka to opening his eyes.  Kris had been… inquisitive last night and Adam had to think of answers to questions that no one else ever would ask.  Kris had asked Adam’s opinions on flavored lubes, after exhausting the whole rimming topic, and how the hell had Kris managed to find thirty-six different flavors in LA without making headlines?  Of course, the real question was why the hell had Adam agreed to taste-test all thirty-six flavors?

His mouth tasted of bubblegum and some horrible mixture of licorice and oh, holy fuck, that tasted like bad, bad coffee.  Seriously, had whoever made that shit had never tasted good coffee? And who bought it and how the fuck did they get laid? 

The covers rustled and Adam jumped, flinging back the blankets - the spider-under-the-blanket episode lived on in his nightmares - and OH GOOD GOD WHAT THE HELL WAS KRIS DOING IN HIS BED?  WHY WAS HE NAKED?  WHY WAS THERE NAKED KRIS IN HIS BED?  WHY NAKED KRIS IN HIS BED?  NAKED KRIS?  NAKED?

Eyes tightly closed, Adam felt along his stomach and down and thank whatever Force was watching out for him right now, he was wearing pants!  Hell, he was still wearing his artfully distressed and very expensive Versace jeans and damn that was a mistake because the zip was digging into his cock.  There was still a very naked Kris sleeping on his arm.

This wasn’t happening.  He closed his eyes and opened them again, but there was still a very, very naked Kris – a very hot, very naked Kris – lying on his arm.  Adam was trying very hard not to look.  Okay, Adam was trying moderately hard not to look.  Okay, okay, Adam was totally looking but honestly, he wasn’t getting any lower than Kris’ slightly parted lips and the strand of hair that was fluttering against his cheek in time with Kris' slow breathing.  He looked so sweet, and innocent, even naked in Adam’s bed and Adam was way too hung-over to deal with this right now.

Adam tried to slowly work his arm free.  Of course, Kris made a vaguely complaining sound and rolled over and suddenly Adam was under Kris and Kris’ leg was between his legs and there was movement happening. Kris was rocking back and forward and murmuring under his breath, and oh!  Oh-kay, _that_ was Kris' morning erection, which was a totally natural phenomenon and nothing to do with the fact that Kris was in bed with Adam.  Nothing.  Adam tried really hard to keep hold of that thought as Kris' hips shifted in something too slow to be more than a tease but too fast to be ignored, and Adam tried – failed – not to hyperventilate.  Adam could feel Kris’ dick against his leg.  This was happening.  This was seriously happening.  Kris was moving against him and…   Oh wow!

How was he supposed to stay the good guy in this situation when he couldn’t do anything more than lie there? 

He could run.

Yes, he could run.  Fast.  He needed to make breakfast and get some OJ and brush his teeth and Kris made the hottest little sound in his throat when Adam squeezed his ass so Adam should do that some more.  No!  Definitely not.  No OJ and toothpaste.  No wait, that wasn’t what he should be objecting to.  Tylenol and water.  That was what he needed.  Now.

Adam slowly, slowly tried to roll Kris over onto the bottom and there was another thought Adam was resolutely not having.  He almost managed it but just as Adam thought that he was free, Kris opened his eyes and blinked up sleepily at him.  Adam had to fight the urge to just lean in and kiss him because while naked Kris was hot, really hot, and rumpled Kris was too sexy for words, just-awake, naked, rumpled Kris was pure temptation and... Adam wasn’t that kind of guy; the kind of guy who took advantage of Kris’ sexual inexperience and experimentation.   Adam wasn't going to be that guy.   

He was Kris’ friend. 

Friend.

Friend!

Damnit, he was getting to the stage where he had to try to remind himself of that every day, twice a day, three times a day, and more than that if it was a day when Kris looked cute. 

Kris' fingers skimmed over his chest, catching his nipple – God that felt good - and Adam bolted.  He grabbed a t-shirt on the way, not even stopping to look at it and he was gone.  His driver, the same one as the previous night, was already waiting at the side of the road.

“The studios please,” Adam called out before he even got in the car.  “Do you have any Tylenol?”

The driver tossed back a bottle, “Rough night, sir?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Adam shook his head, but then he thought about it.  “Actually, you might.”

The driver smiled and started off towards the studio as Adam sat back and tried really hard to figure out what the hell he was going to tell Kris later.


	5. Chapter 4

Brad was sitting on his couch when he arrived home and glaring at him over the rim of one of Adam’s cut crystal glasses filled with what was totally going to be Adam’s finest booze – well, at least, the finest left after last night's question and answer session.  That was just how Adam wanted this day to end.

“Oh great, he’s home.  So tell me, Kris was in a full on diva mood this morning, totes trying to out-bitch me – like he could – when I came by to take him shopping but he wouldn’t tell me a thing, so spill!”  Brad’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Adam and then widened, “Oh my Dior, you totally tried it on with him didn’t you?  I mean, I knew you were an idiot, Adam, but oh my!  How could you?   No wonder he wouldn’t talk to me.  What were you thinking?  Okay so you weren’t thinking that much is totes obvious.” 

“Bradley,” Adam sighed, “You’ve been watching too much daytime drama.  Go back to Real Housewives or whatever it was that you were watching when you were going through your Gucci phase.  I’ve had a long day, a very long day, and all I want to do it shower, change and watch trashy movies while eating things that my trainer is going to make me work off tomorrow morning.”

“Okay, I see how this is.  It’s all about you isn’t it?  Not even one single solitary sorry for being responsible for my lack of five o’clock mimosas and unlimited WeHo gossip.  There are more people in the world than you, Mister Rockstar,” Brad uncurled himself from the couch and put the glass on the coffee table before standing. 

He looked Adam up and down and with a curl of his lip, he was gone.  He even slammed the door which made Adam’s headache spring up again.

“Kris?” Adam called out as he hunted through the bathroom cabinets for painkillers, “Kris?  Do you remember where we put the Tylenol when we got back from the last shopping trip?  We did get some, didn’t we?”

There was no answer.

Adam went to the doorway and looked out down the hallway, “Kris?  You busy?”

Please, please, _please_ say that he didn’t have someone in his room with him.  Adam was so very not in the mood for brain-dead fuck buddies tonight.  Adam listened at Kris’ door but there was nothing.  Carefully, ever so carefully, Adam opened the door to peek in.  Clothes were scattered around the room but there was no Kris.  Adam even went so far as to pull back the blankets and check to see if Kris was asleep but it was just another knot of blankets.  No sign of Kris.

Well, of course, Kris would want some space, and Adam would give it to him.  All the space that he wanted, needed. 

Damn, Adam wished he could remember what had happened last night.  The rimming conversation was unfortunately crystal clear in him mind.  He could remember _most_ of the lubes, swallowing back the bile at the memory.  Okay, he could only remember up to Cheeky Cherry, but that one was definitely going on his list of favorites.

His phone beeped and jingled and Adam groaned as he saw Brad’s name come up on the display.  What had he forgotten?  If this was just another round of insults, then Adam was hanging up and deleting Brad’s number from his phone.

“What?”

“You’re an ass.”

Adam’s thumb hovered over the disconnect button, but he didn’t press it.  Yet.  If anyone would know where Kris was, it’d be Brad.

“I love our little conversations,” Adam bit back the cattiness for a second.  “Brad, do you know where Kris is?  I need to talk to him about something and I can’t find a note…”

“Arkansas,” Brad drawled, cutting in.

“I’m sorry,” Adam rubbed a hand through his hair.  "Wha-"

“You should be.  Kris is in Arkansas,” Brad sounded bored, but then again, that was his usual tone of voice when the conversation didn’t involve sex, Brad or the fabulousness of sex with Brad.  There was an edge that made Adam ache with the memory of too many too-honest fights and late nights.

"Seriously?  What’s he doing in Arkansas?”

Adam looked around the kitchen again, moving envelopes and magazines and catalogues out of the way.  They weren’t supposed to go back to Arkansas for another couple of weeks.  Adam had booked the tickets for both of them last week.  So, what the hell was Kris doing in Arkansas?  Was everyone okay?  He knew that Kim had been working hard recently but she’d promised to take some time off and cut down her hours. 

Was it Katy? 

Had the douchebag done something to Katy, or said something?  Okay so Adam didn’t like Katy’s new boy but there was nothing there to like.  He was a walking lack of personality and Katy could totally do better.  Oh my God, he’d dumped her, hadn’t he?  He’d walked out on her and on his kid.  That had to be it.  And just when Adam was considering learning the jerk’s name.

If he had walked out then Adam was on the next flight down there with every lawyer he could find and a truck full of vanilla ice cream… 

Adam bit his lip.

“Katy called.  She had a fall.  She’s fine but you know Kris.  He was on the first plane going.  I’m sure that’s exactly what Katy needs, Kris underfoot and spoiling her,” Brad sounded a little jealous and Adam really didn’t have time to listen to Brad throw a class A diva fit right now.

“Okay, Katy had a fall, but that doesn’t explain why Kris is on a plane.  She’s got her family, Kim, Neal, the douchebag, and the douchebag’s family around her.  That’s a lot of people.  What aren’t you telling me?” Adam perched on the edge of the couch, eyes narrowing.

“The volumes of things that I am not telling you could fill libraries,” Brad threw back.  “Okay, fine.  You should probably know, but I’m only telling you this because Kris told me to.  Don’t mistake this for me liking you, because I totally don’t right now.  You did something to Kris and you’re not telling me and I don’t approve of secrets that I’m not included in.”  He sighed, “She started crying on the phone earlier and it turns out that her soon-to-be-mother-in-law is giving her hassle and insisting that she calls the baby Reginald or some other hetero tease-worthy name.  She’s moved into Katy’s house and is following her around with blankets and slippers.  This is totes why I’m gay.  So much easier.” 

“Okay.” Cheeks kept on talking.  Adam cut across him, “Okay, thanks for letting me know.  I’ll call you later,” Adam didn’t wait for a reply before hitting the red button and going straight for speed dial three.

The phone rang three times before getting answered with a laugh, “I’m fine, Adam-baby, thanks for the call.  No need to worry.”

Adam relaxed instantly when he heard Katy’s voice on the other end of the phone, happy and with a hint of a smile.  They’d been close during Idol, friends through Kris but since then, they’d grown closer, to the point that Adam made sure to call Katy every week no matter what he was doing.  Otherwise, he’d have a cute but vicious blonde on his doorstep, with Kris a step behind and holding her bags. 

“I’m glad to hear that, babe,” Adam perched on the edge of the couch again, “I was worried when Cheeks told me that you’d fallen.”

“Cheeks told you?”

Adam could hear the artificial calm in her voice, the slight grit of her teeth and yeah, Adam might just have landed Kris in trouble.  Oops.  Yeah, there was part of Adam that felt a little smug about dropping Kris in trouble with his ex-wife.  Kris had left him to deal with Cheeks. 

“Yeah, Kris had already gone by the time that I arrived home.  Long day,” Adam shrugged.  “I’m guessing that he’s incoming soon?”

“Uh huh,” Katy acknowledged, “So, you gonna tell me what’s up between you two?”

“What’s up?” Adam frowned, “Nothing’s up.”

“Adam,” she drew out his name.  “I called Kris to tell him what happened and he was out the door before I could finish telling him what had happened.  The only reason I called him was because I needed someone sane to talk to on the other end of the phone because I’m trapped in the house with my future mother-in-law and I swear she’s spent most of the last day with her hands on my stomach trying to make the baby kick.  I know I ended up crying for a full hour on the phone but he had the tickets bought before I finished the first box of tissues. I know I’m a bunch of walking talking hormones right now but there was no way I sounded so bad that he felt that he needed to get his ass straight down here.  What’s going on, Adam?  Something happened, didn’t it?”

Adam slid from the arm of the couch down onto one of the cushions and sighed, “Kinda.”

Katy waited a whole minute before pressing, “Kinda?  What d’ya mean kinda?  What happened Adam-baby?”

Adam didn’t quite know what to say to her, “I think I just fucked everything up.  I don’t know, Kitty-Kat, I think I blew it this time.  I mean, really blew it.  Where do I even start?

“At the beginning, baby,” Katy said quietly, “Take me all the way back to the beginning.”

“You know that Kris is… going through an experimental phase?” Adam said tactfully.

“Uh huh,” Katy hummed, “Let me guess, he’s trying out everything?”

Adam bit back the first couple of things that he wanted to say because Katy didn’t need to know that Kris seemed to be working his way through WeHo’s most eligible, and then the least eligible but still kinda cute.

“He’s putting himself out there,” Adam said diplomatically, “but well, we got to talking last night and there might have been some alcohol and then we kinda woke up together and there was nakedness and awkwardness and…”

“Oh baby,” Katy was giggling down the phone at him. “First times are always awkward.”

Adam pouted.  He was kinda hoping for a sympathetic shoulder here, not laughter. 

“Oh honey, he does that,” Katy giggled again, “I swear, he gets a little tipsy and the clothes come off.  Doesn’t he have the cutest little ass?  So help me but those little dimples were half the reason I married that boy.” 

“I wouldn’t know,” Adam muttered, “That wasn’t exactly the side of him that I got to see.”

The giggling stopped dead and Adam heard the sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.

“Adam-baby?  Are you…  Are you okay?” she paused and Adam could hear some shuffling and then the closing of a door, maybe a car door.  “Okay, I’m in the car and it’s just me here.  Tell me everything.”

Adam ran a hand through his hair.  What was he going to say?  He shook his head.  This was a bad idea.  Katy was Kris’ ex.  She didn’t need to hear this.  Maybe he should just hop a flight down to Arkansas too, talk to Kris, get everything sorted out before it festered?  That would totally work if he didn’t have media events pretty much every day.

“I kinda already did, Kitty-Kat,” Adam brushed the question off, going for humor instead, “We got drunk, he asked me questions about things that I am most definitely not talking to you about.  Then somewhere between Cherry and Chocolate flavored lubes my memory fritzes out.  When I woke up there was a naked Kris in my bed and I mean full frontal, and seriously, the more pressing question would be why the heck did you leave him?”

“What can I say?  I moved on to bigger and better things,” Katy laughed.  “So you woke up beside him and saw him in all his unbridled glory.  I’m not getting what the problem is.  Unless you…  Adam, did something happen?  What aren’t you telling me?”

Yeah, Katy was not dropping this.

“I’m not sure.  I mean…” Adam closed his eyes and sighed.  “There was something but it was morning and well…  He had morning wood and he was moving and then he woke up and touched me and I ran.”

The last three words were barely above a mumble but Katy heard them anyway.  Adam wasn’t particularly proud of running.  He had the entire day to think about it and he still wasn’t proud of it.  He should have stayed and talked or done a hundred other things, but he'd taken the coward’s way out.

“Oh, Adam,” Katy said after a moment.  “Oh, Adam, are you okay?”

“I’m… Yeah, I’m fine.”             

He wasn’t but he didn’t exactly know what he was feeling, but he could fake it until he knew. 

“Uh huh.  Cause I was born yesterday,” Katy hummed.  “I’m about to be a momma, Adam-baby.  Mommas got ways of knowing when you’re lying to them.”

Or maybe he couldn’t fake it.

He sighed again, “Honestly, I’m not sure.  I regret running now, but I was planning on sitting down with Kris tonight and talking about things, but now he’s in Arkansas.  What if…?” Adam tugged at his hair, “What if that’s it?  What if that was my one chance and I blew it?  I’m about a half second away from calling the studio, telling them that I’m not going to be in for a week and flying down to Conway after him.”

“You leave Kristopher to me,” Katy said, firmly.  “I’ll see what I can work out and then I’ll stick him on the other end of the phone and you two can get your heads together and admit that you are both idiots.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Adam barked a half laugh, not totally convinced that even Katy could solve this, “Do I want to know how you’re planning to manage that or should I just take it on faith that you can do anything that you put your mind to?”

“I’m seven and a half months pregnant and have enough hormones floating around my body to singlehandedly turn back the menopause for the entire state of Arkansas,” Katy joked.  “All I gotta do these days is cry.  Or throw stuff.  My aim is getting better.”

“How’s the douchebag doing?” Adam asked.

“ _Rick_ is just fine.  I didn’t even kill him for proposing in the damn La Maze class.  Big lug that he is,” Katy sounded fond.  “I still can’t get over the fact that he asked.  The only problem that I’m having is his mom.  She keeps pressing for a wedding before the birth, as if an empire waist is going to solve the fact that I haven’t been able to see my feet for the past three months.  My momma and Momma Kim have been working on her but she just won’t stop.”

“You know that the second you set the date, babe, I am flying Cassidy straight down to you and you are getting the best goddamned dress in the world,” Adam assured her, “My mom is already putting together a wedding book.  She’s happy that she’s going to get to plan a family wedding.”

Katy laughed, “Tell your mom that the only way that I’m getting married before I give birth is if everyone is bigger than me when I walk down the aisle.  I’m talking huge, gigantic.”

“Say the word, babe, and I’ll make it happen.”

“You’re adorable.  Oh shoot, I’ve got to park.  I’m at the airport.  I’ll give you a call after I get him back to the house.”

Adam smiled, “Take care of yourself honey, and call if you need anything.”

“You know it.”


	6. Chapter 5

Adam resolutely didn’t look at his phone as he threw another three well worn tee-shirts into his bag before raiding the bathroom for everything he'd need for his stay at Burning Man.   His tent - a deluxe orgy sized monstrosity that Adam didn't have any clue how to assemble - was already in the car along with enough water, food and snacks to last until his next tour. His mom had made a pot-full of reheatable casserole in a fireproof glazed bowl that would feed his entire entourage even though Adam had told her four times that he was going solo.

Well, technically, Adam was supposed to be going with Kris.   Kris, who was still in Arkansas with Katy and apparently incapable of picking up his goddamn phone!  He'd almost called off the whole trip until Katy told him to get his head out of his ass and just go.   She was right, but then again she usually was about this sort of stuff.  What she couldn’t tell him was why the hell Kris hadn’t called or even texted since he’d landed in Arkansas.

Adam loved the unfettered environment that was Burning Man, the sheer creativity and the naked atmosphere that he couldn't find anywhere else.  He chucked everything into the back of the car, along with extra bottles of sunscreen and climbed in. 

The drive was good, easily flowing traffic and good tunes on the radio.  He parked up at near one of the better campsites and stretched before starting to unload the tent.  The assembly instructions were vague and by the end of it, Adam was ready to snap Tab B free and introduce it to the business end of Slot C in ways that nature and the manufacturer never intended.  There was an achingly familiar almost giggle behind him. 

"You could help instead of laughing at me," Adam growled as he pushed his hair out of his eyes and tried again to get the tent looking somewhat similar to the picture on the packaging.

“I could… but where’s the fun in that?”

Adam looked over his shoulder at Kris and another man - blond haired, blue eyes and the perfect All American body barely hidden beneath a too-tight A&F t-shirt.  Adam glared at the stranger for a second before turning back to the tent.  How totally fucking awesome of Kris to show up with his latest conquest! 

“Thought you were still in Arkansas,” Adam grumbled.

“Caught a lift up with Brian last night,” Kris shrugged.

Brian?  Perfect!  Give him a surfboard and a slice of momma’s pie and he could be the poster boy for butter wouldn’t melt.  Adam’s eyes narrowed again and damn it what did he care if Brian was the perfect guy?  Kris had exhausted LA’s prettiest.  Only natural that he started on the other states.  Spread the love and all that.  Adam turned back to the tent and resolutely didn’t listen to the tiny voice in the back of his head insisting Brian was probably a very nice guy and that Adam was just jealous. 

“You’ll never guess whose CD he had in his car,” Kris grinned, wide and honest and open and yeah, Adam had missed Kris’ boundless enthusiasm.

“Taylor Swift?” Adam shot back.

The guy laughed, showing off a whole set of perfect white veneers and Adam hated him just a little bit more.

“No, doofus, yours.  I told him that you wouldn’t mind signing it.  His sister is a huge fan of yours and after Burning Man, he’s heading down to San Francisco for her birthday,” Kris totally missed Adam’s bitchiness.  “It would make her year, especially since he totally failed to do a good job on her actual birthday present.”

Brian nudged Kris gently, smiling, and Adam turned back to his mess of a tent.  Adam was contemplating just shoving the poles in the ground and propping the poly-futuristic-whatever-the-hell-they-make-tents-from up and just sliding his sleeping bag in under it.  Kris was there before he totally lost his it, neatly plucking the poles from his hands, and the instructions.  Adam found himself crowded out as Brian got in on the act, practically curling around Kris.

“You know what?” Adam said after watching Brian whisper something into Kris’ ear for the third time, “I’m going to go scope out what the music setup is like for later.  You guys have fun.”

“Adam?” Kris called out after him, but Adam was already cutting through the rows of tents just as fast as his legs could carry him.

Why couldn’t Dreyers have set up a small stand somewhere out here?  Seriously, Adam would totally hand over his entire fortune for a huge tub of French Silk, or Mint Chocolate Chip at least.  He’d even take Baskin Robbins at this point, and screw what it did to his waistline, this was a crisis!  Ice-cream was clearly required even if it meant that he had to retire his new Dior jeans unworn. 

He took a deep breath and slowed down, running his hands through his hair.  Honestly, he didn't even know why he was so _angry_ at Kris.  First there was the touch, then there was Arkansas and he’d accepted that Kris wasn’t coming to Burning Man but now he was here.  That was great, but he was here _with Brian_ , and yes it was those two little words that felt like a punch in the chest. 

He wasn’t telling anyone but since Kris ran away to Arkansas, Adam had been doing some thinking, and he’d come to a conclusion that he probably should have realized a couple of years ago. Adam liked Kris.  Okay, no, he wasn’t hiding from the word anymore.  He loved Kris, had since Idol, but he’d been married then.  Off the table.  Now he was hot, free and single, and rocking his gay little ass off. 

Preston, Brian, the unending line of twinks that seemed ready to line up for one explosive night of fun and fucking – it was as if Kris was reacting to years of marriage by flitter-flying from one bed to another and that wasn’t what Adam wanted, and as selfish as it sounded, it wasn’t what Adam needed in his life. 

Adam had planned out what he was going to say to Kris when he saw him again – he had index cards and everything, color-coded and with cross references and examples.  None of that was much good though if Kris was wrapped around his latest Mr. Perfect.  Maybe in a day or two?  When Kris was alone again, maybe?  Maybe then they could talk and get things worked out, and if they couldn’t…  Adam would do what he had to.  He’d move on.  Hard as that was, he’d do it.  Somehow.

He sighed heavily and before he could shrug off the last of his mood, there was a hand on his arm and a welcoming smile.  Adam was a world tour past the point where he wanted to talk about his personal life with strangers but the lady, Lexie, had to be at least eighty.  The bikini really didn’t do her any favors but the sarong was definitely something.  She had a nice smile and a pot of green tea on her campfire, and Adam found himself pouring out his heart over a wonderful mix of jasmine green tea and a glass of dandelion wine.

A sing-song around the campfire, a long talk and Adam felt better.  He waved when he left, promising to drag Kris over to meet Lexie the next day.  Adam had assured her that Kris really wasn't the heartbreaking manslut she thought he was, but she insisted on meeting him anyway.  Adam just couldn’t say no, mainly because she was threatening to flash him and nice as she was, Lexie _really_ wasn’t his type.

Although, Adam stopped, smiling a little, Neil was single right now…


	7. Chapter 6

Kris was giggling when Adam got back to his tent.  Honest to God, giggling, like a fourteen year old girl.  The fact that Brian was sprawled all over Kris with his hand down Kris’ pants outside the tent for everyone to see?  Yeah, that was what he needed to see.  Looked like the come-to-discretion talk that Adam had after Preston had disappeared in the jet trails of Arkansas Air.  Time for version two of that conversation, this time with more shouting and less understanding.  Adam opened his mouth to say something but he stopped, eyes narrowing and temper starting to rise.

Kris’ hands were on Brian’s wrist, but not in a ‘oh baby, yes’ kinda way, but rather a ‘slow down, you’re going too fast’ white-knuckled grip.  Adam knew more about how Kris looked when he was turned on after the last few months than he ever had before.  This wasn't Kris having a good time.  This was something else.

“Hey Kris,” Adam called out.

Kris blinked, blinked again and finally looked up.  

“Kris?” Adam hunkered down next to him.  “Are you okay?”

Brian didn’t move his hand, just shrugged and went right on back to feeling Kris up.  Bastard.

“I’m oh… okay,” Kris’ fingers tightened on Brian’s wrist and he made a half hearted effort to shuffle away.

Adam could see that Kris was half-hard from where he was kneeling, but Kris’ eyes were bloodshot red and he couldn’t seem to focus.  Adam's instincts were screaming something was wrong.

“Kris, what the hell have you…?”  Adam shook his head.  “What have you taken?”

“Calm down,” Brian drawled.  His eyes were hazy too and it was all Adam could do not to knock his teeth in, but Adam wasn’t a violent man.  Really, he wasn’t.  “It was just a couple of brownies.”

“Brownies?” Adam frowned, “As in…?  No, Kris.  You didn’t!”

“Just to loosen him up, man.  It’s fine.  He’ll be fine by morning.  Don’t sweat it.”

Fine by morning?  Not a fudge-sucking hope.  Kris on pot was giggly first and then things got complicated.  Adam had seen Kris high just the once and he still had nightmares.  Kris was one of those guys who lost all control of himself.  Inhibitions – gone.  History.  Kaput – and then?  Then was when the real trouble started.  Paranoia, irrationality and a habit of ending up naked on top of the nearest shrubbery.  Adam wasn’t quite sure where the nearest shrubbery was out here in the middle of Nevada, but with everyone and their cell phones, this was definitely going to be a disaster.  They'd be lucky if this wasn’t already hitting the ‘net.

Just imagine the headlines:  ‘Pocket Idol in Drugs and Sex Scandal.’  Katy was going to kill him, if Kim didn't get to him first. 

“Okay, Kris,” Adam took his arm, “Let’s get you to the tent and you can sleep it off.”

“Don’t be such a prude, man,” Brian sneered, “Kris is happy where he is, aren’t you honey?”

“Happy?” Kris repeated the word, frowning.  “Adam?”

“I’m right here, Kris.  I’m always gonna be right here,” Adam breathed the words as he pulled Kris closer.

“Adam, man, I don’t mean to be rude, but Kris and I are kinda in the middle of something here.  Unless you wanna join in, because I’m sure Kris wouldn’t mind and I know I wouldn’t.”

Adam had seen a leer like that once, all snake oil and sleaze, in all his years clubbing in WeHo but the owner was currently doing 8 to 10 in the county lockup.  It made Adam wanna walk straight into a waterfall and scrub off every inch of his skin, and Kris’ for good measure.  What the hell was Kris thinking hooking up with this jerk?  This guy, this guy was like a side of Grade A tenderloin that had sat in the sun for about four days too long.

“Ben, wasn’t it?” Adam pulled out his best Diva act, “Kris is gonna go back to his tent and sleep off the brownies and you can back the fuck off, get in your two bit rust bucket, drive your ass back to whatever rock you crawled out from under and bury yourself down there with all the other vermin.”

“Cute words,” Brian sneered, “but Kris wants to stay with me, don’t you?”  Brian’s hand buried deeper into Kris’ pants and Kris moaned.  “See, he’s happy here with me.  Go do something else, yeah?  Give us half an hour?  Then you can have your go.  I don’t mind sharing.  Pretty guy like this, he’s going to be an epic fuck once he gets warmed up.”

Adam totally wasn’t a violent man, except when he really, really was, but he couldn’t just punch Brian’s face in.  He’d get blood all over Kris.  Adam did however have one weapon in his arsenal that he was betting that Brian didn’t expect – courtesy his mom’s endless self defense classes and her need for practice partners to help her train in the off weeks.  Adam grabbed Brian’s hand – which was still way too close to Kris’ dick for Adam’s liking – and pressed into the space between his thumb and forefinger.  Brian screamed like the little bitch he was. 

The second Brian’s hand was out of Kris’ pants, Adam wrenched Brian’s arm back and flung him backwards, landing a kick right in the family jewels to uproarious applause from the growing crowd of onlookers.  Kris was on the ground, just looking on, wide-eyed, totally confused and starting to shiver.  Adam was torn.  On one hand, there was Brian who deserved so much more pain than just a twisted up hand and a swollen sac.  On the other there was Kris, who was shaking like a leaf and seriously in need of an extra hand to get his fly redone.

Concern for Kris won out and Adam left Brian on the ground holding his arm and singing soprano.  Adam helped Kris up, half lifting him as Kris’ knees wobbled.  Adam helpfully stepped heavily on Brian as he led Kris over to the tent – neatly assembled and pinned to the ground.  Apparently the bastard was good for something when he wasn’t taking advantage of Kris and whispering false promises in his ear.  Brian got picked up and led away by some of the less-matronly husbands of the matronly women.

Adam manhandled Kris into the tent – no small job – and water was handed in through the tent opening with best wishes and a reassuring smile.  Adam smiled in answer and zipped up the tent, wrapping them both in dim warmth.  Kris cuddled into his side, his hands sliding under Adam’s shirt and against Adam’s skin, and hello, that wasn’t Kris’ usual friendly personality poking him in the hip!

“Alright, babe, let’s get you covered up and you can sleep it off,” Adam pried Kris’ fingers off his ribcage and gently pushed him back onto the sleeping bag.

Or he would have, if Kris didn’t have fingers made of steel.  After five futile minutes trying to pry Kris off, Adam managed to move them both over to the sleeping bag with Kris curled against him even tighter.  He uncapped the water and handed it across to Kris, who just looked at it until Adam tipped it against his lip.  Kris licked at the mouth of the bottle, lapping at it like a kitten and yeah...  Adam looked away.  He was being a good friend.  That was it.  Totally.  A very platonic friend.

Adam closed his eyes and started to hum, running through the half-finished tracks that he had been working on before Kris high-tailed it to Arkansas.  Kris mmmed against his skin, licking and nuzzling and it was getting hard to keep the notes straight. No pun intended.

30 minutes later and two ruined shirts later, Kris was in the sleeping bag and Adam was wrapped around him.  Kris had lost all of his clothes, some of them flung outside the tent in a fit of frustration, and yeah, that wasn’t entirely a new view but Adam would have preferred it without the underlying worry.

“Adam?” Kris tried to push down the sleeping bag but Adam was keeping it firmly in place.  “Adam, I’m...  Hurts.  It hurts.  Need to…”

Adam tried to ignore Kris but then Kris started humping his leg, like really humping his leg and how the hell was he supposed ignore Kris all wanting and needy… and beautiful.  This was going to be a long night.  Kris groaned long and loud and right in his ear.  Oh yeah, this was going to be a _very_ long night.

A hand wandering its way into his pants before Adam caught Kris’ wrist and tucked it back under the covers.  Lips at that particularly sensitive point just under his left ear had Adam leaning back and away out of range.  A low moaning that was doing Adam no good at all.  Kris was practically chasing him around the tent and saying no was getting harder.  Adam even sent a desperate text to Katy, begging for advice or rescue, but like all sane people, she was asleep.

It was after dawn when Adam finally got to close his eyes.  Kris was asleep, and staying asleep thankfully.  All Adam needed was a couple of hours sleep to be ready for the talk that had to come. 


	8. Chapter 7

“Oh my God, my _head_.”

Instead, Adam woke to a groan and a kick, “Damn it, Kris, not all of us got to sleep before dawn.  Just…  Just settle down and go back to sleep for a couple of hours, alright?”

“Not so loud,” Kris moaned.  “My head’s about to split open.  What the hell happened last night?”

Adam opened an eye – it was far too early for two eyes, and too bright – and just looked at Kris.  It didn’t do him any good because Kris had his eyes closed and sleeping bag over his face and his arm over the sleeping bag. 

“Brian,” Adam muttered, “Brian happened along with his cookies.  Seriously, Kris, what the hell were you thinking?”

“I’d answer, but that would mean that I was thinking…” Kris groaned.

“Yeah,” Adam muttered, rolling over and punching the makeshift pillow back into some sort of useable shape. “That’s what I was thinking.”

Adam closed his eyes again, but he wasn’t getting back to sleep.  Not now, but he could pretend.  Another few minutes before he had to get up. 

“Wakey, wakey boys,” Lexie’s voice came in through the tent and Adam groaned.  “Can’t get some of my world famous griddled pancakes if you’re still in bed, now can you?”

Adam grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it on before sliding out of the sleeping bag and unzipping the tent.  He could see his neighbors casually looking elsewhere and Lexie, in another stunningly tiny bikini, standing there with one hand on her hip and the other holding a plate of delicious smelling pancakes.

“Hear you boys had a bit of fun last night, whole camp is buzzing about it.” Lexie smirked, “Best get your Kristopher out of bed too.  I think you boys need to have a little chat.”

Adam rolled his eyes, “Lexie, thanks for this but…”

“But nothing,” She shook her head and everything else jiggled.  It was almost hypnotic and Adam had to blink to refocus.  “Get your asses out here.  I didn’t make pancakes just to throw them away, boy.”

Adam ducked back into the tent and shook Kris, who grumbled but finally opened his eyes, “Breakfast.  Come on.  Get dressed and meet me outside.”

Adam headed back out to where Lexie was sitting down on the ground on a battered cushion.  She handed Adam some of the pancakes and chatted on, not needing anything from Adam but a nod and a smile in the right places.  Kris was adorably ruffled when he popped his head out – that was to say that he was scruffy and unkempt and absolutely not adorable.  Absolutely not. 

“Morning ma’am,” Kris nodded as Lexie handed him a stack.  “Thank you.”

Adam didn’t even look over at him while he ate – not because the light was hitting him just right and it looked like he was glowing because that would be silly.  Besides, the pancakes were delicious.

“So, given that it’s a brand new day and that it’s the first day of the festival, wouldn’t it be better to have a talk now rather than letting it drag you both down and spoil the whole experience?” Lexie prompted, “Now, who wants to start?”

Adam recognized the steely undertone and slumped a little; he remembered that tone of voice.  Still, just because he couldn't get out of this didn't mean Adam had to be the one to start.  Adam didn’t say anything and neither did Kris.  Lexie pulled out a stick of sage and lit it with a Zippo, waving it around her head and in Adam’s face.

“You, chick, you start,” Lexie poked Adam.  “What do you want to say to him?”

Adam looked at Kris.  He was still angry, but he tried to shove it down.  It had to happen sooner or later.  Better now than half way through Burning Man or in the car on the way home.  Right?  “Okay.  Kris, what the hell did you think you were doing?  You know better than to get stoned.  Seriously you promised that you wouldn’t after Brad's Valentines party.  Five hours.  Five hours trying to coax you down out of the attic.  You promised me, you promised Brad, and instead, the first time someone bats his eyes at you and offers you some cookies, you just grab them with both hands.  You’re in the middle of Nevada.  What the hell did you think you were doing?”

Okay, so pushing down the anger didn’t work too well, but at least it was out there?  That had to be a good thing right?

“It wasn’t like that,” Kris mumbled the words.

“Then what was it like?  Tell me.”

Lexie glared at him and Adam held up his hands sitting back.  She was right.  He had to let Kris speak.

“If you’d shut up for a second, I’ll tell you,” Kris shot back.  Then he shut up.  Adam was tempted to say something after three minutes passed, not that Adam was counting or anything, but Lexie shook her head.  Finally, Kris continued, “I was nervous, Adam.  Alright?  Are you happy now?  I was fucking nervous.”

Adam looked at Kris, shocked, looking for answers, looking for something, but Kris had his head down, his face hidden and Adam couldn’t tell anything. 

“Nervous?  Why the hell were you nervous?” A huge florescent bulb went down in his head and its name was Brian.  “What did he want you to do?  I swear I’m going to track that bastard down and…”

“He wasn’t going to do anything,” Kris held up his hand but Adam was already on his feet.  “I mean, he was but I wasn’t planning on doing anything with him.  I was nervous because, you know, after you running away and then me running away, I wasn’t sure how you were going to react to me just showing up here.  I mean, Katy told me that it would be fine, and I trust Katy but then you vanished as soon as I started trying to help you with the tent and…  Well, you called Katy every day and I got three text messages.  Total.  I show up here you run right the fuck away again.”

“I only vanished because that walking A and F advert was whispering in your ear and eyeing your ass and after…” Adam paused, “Well, let's face it, I've seen and heard enough of your conquests not to need an encore.”

“I already told you that I wasn’t going to screw him,” Kris snapped around to face Adam and Adam leaned back from the look on Kris’ face.  Half anger, half frustration, half betrayal, half something else…  Wait that was too many halves but maybe that was the point.  “God, why are you making this so hard?”

What the hell did he say to that?  Seriously?  Adam ran a hand through his hair, horrified to find that it was every bit as wild as Kris’.  How honest could he be? 

“What do you want me to say, Kris?” Adam asked, “I mean, you come home to the house every weekend and you’ve either been with someone or you bring them with you.  You go clubbing with Cheeks and he fixes you up with go-go dancers and pretty boys all over the place, and that’s great and I’m happy for you because you’re getting out there and figuring yourself out but I can’t watch it anymore.  I…” Adam shook his head and damn it, he couldn’t get the words out.  He took a deep breath.  “I just can’t do it anymore.  I’m sorry.”

Kris looked at him.  Lexie looked at him.  The weight of their stares, and the stares of the people who totally weren’t watching the drama unfold like a daytime soap, was too much for Adam.  He needed to…  Okay so he didn’t know exactly what he needed to do but he needed to get out of here.  He needed to clear his head.  He’d said his piece and if he said anything else then Kris would know…  Well, Kris would know everything and that was just… 

“I’m gonna go walk,” Adam said and started heading off.

Lexie called out after him, so did Kris but Adam was gone.   


	9. Chapter 8

Burning man was free flowing for the main part.  People came.  People went.  They camped.  They parked.  They formed groups and parked their cars in almost neat lines and put up their tents.  Sure there were stages and stands and stalls but some of the best action was in the tents.

That said, Adam was sitting on an upturned wooden crate in front of one of the stages listening to some grungy guys do an impression of the headliner.  It wasn’t flattering, accurate, but not flattering.

They waved as they saw Adam, recognizing him from one of the industry parties that he’d had to go to.  Their drummer had the whole psycho act down.  Really nice guy but he loved getting out his psycho act out in public.

“Should that guy be out without a handler?” Kris sat down beside him.

Adam nodded, “Yeah, he’s fine.  Bassist keeps him in line mostly.”

It wasn’t his place to publicly shatter the illusion even just for Kris, that wasn’t Adam’s style.  He’d tell Kris later, maybe, if they were still speaking to each other.

“You okay?” Kris asked.  “I mean, it’s not like you to walk off.  Lexie stayed after you left and fed me some of that tea of hers.  She’s kinda cool, ya know? Reminds me a little of my momma.”  Kris looked at him, bumping shoulders with him, “Wanna talk about it?  Kinda sounded like there was more you wanted to say.”

Adam shook his head, “No.  No, not yet.”

Kris nodded and considered Adam for a second, “Okay, then maybe I should say something.  But you gotta promise to hear me out, okay?”

Adam nodded because yeah, despite the killer crush, the unrequited feelings and the very cute way that Kris was looking at him, Adam couldn’t really refuse. 

“When I moved to LA and you took me in, I was really grateful, you know?” Kris wasn’t looking at him.  “But that wasn’t the main reason that I moved in.  It kinda sounds bad, but I was kinda hoping that living with you would mean that we’d…  I don’t know, hook up?  But it didn’t happened.  I mean, Brad told me that you’d never go for it, married straight boy fresh off a divorce and still trying to figure out if he’s gay or if it’s a phase, so I started going out and trying to figure things out but I kinda got lost along the way…” he cut off and  Adam looked over at him.   Kris was staring at his hands, a little pink and lips curved in a wry smile.

Wait, what?  Kris was hoping that they’d hook up?  Yeah, the gears were slipping in Adam’s mind faster than he could crank them.  What the hell did he say to that?  Kris liked him, or at least he had before Adam made a total dick of himself and stormed off.

Kris was still looking down at his hands as the band started up, “And then you got busy and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing because, you know, top of Billboard, but I know that it’s hard to find time to just sit down and talk, and I’m really glad that you do.  When you ran, I kinda thought that I’d messed everything up and I really didn’t want that.”  Kris shook his head, a smile curling one side of his mouth in that completely adorable way that totally didn’t make Adam want to lean in and kiss him.  “Katy didn’t think so.  I mean, she shoved enough lube and condoms into my bag coming up here to keep any porn studio in business for a month but then…” he shrugged.  "I think she wants me settled, you know?  Happy."

Kris, lube and condoms all in one sentence, Adam’s brain was whiting out. 

“I guess,” Kris half shrugged, “I guess that I kinda just wanted to ask why?”

Adam frowned, still caught on the image of Kris and lube and condoms, “Why what?”

“I’m a big boy,” Kris nudged him again.

Adam laughed, “Uh huh.”

“Laugh it up, rock star,” Kris huffed, “You know you don’t have to hide it from me if you don’t like me like that.  I can take it.  Just…  Just I'd like to hear it.  Start the 'getting-over-you' process, you know?  Brad said that I can stay with him until I find a place to stay…”

“No,” Adam was on his feet in front of Kris, “No. I mean…  You don’t have to.  I mean…  I don’t know what I mean.”  Adam sat down again, sighing heavily.  “I guess, I guess I thought that I was taking advantage.  You were drunk and I didn’t want you to think that I was that kind of jerk when you sobered up.  You have no idea how hard it was to leave.  I mean, there you were looking all cute and adorable and totally humping my leg and then you opened your eyes and…  If I hadn’t left then, I wouldn’t have been able to.  I argued with myself the whole way to the studio.  I swear, the driver probably thought that I was a complete nut job.” 

The laugh was forced but Kris was leaning into him and that was all it really took for Adam to press on.  Honestly, he hadn’t been this excruciatingly nervous about a conversation since that horribly embarrassing time in the car with his mom when he told her that he was gay.  That had turned out well, maybe there was hope that this one would too?  At least the air would be clear?

Adam watched the band for a minute and smiled when he recognized his song being covered.  It wasn’t how he did it but they weren’t mangling it too badly.

“I thought that we’d have a conversation later when I got home and you were sober and I’d tell you everything, but then Katy fell and you were already gone to Arkansas and I thought the worst,” Adam admitted.  “I thought Katy must have been really hurt but when I called, she said she was fine.  She said she'd get you to call that night and you didn't and by then...well, by then I really was freaking out. I started thinking that maybe you ran away and stayed away because you were regretting what happened.  And the longer you stayed away, the more that set in my mind.”  He took a breath, “When you showed up with _Brian_ , I thought that was it, you know?  He was a complete tool by the way, just so you know.  He’s lucky that I’m a friend first and a badass second.”

“Katy will be so happy to hear that.  That’s her future brother-in-law,” Kris laughed. 

“Wow, the wedding is going to be fun,” Adam rolled his eyes.  “Remind me to talk to her about the seating plans.  We aren't sitting anywhere near that jerk.”

“You know something?  It’s kinda hot when you go all protective like that.”

Adam rocked into Kris and smiled, “So…  Let’s see if I got this whole thing straight in my head.  I ran away because I didn’t want to take advantage of you.  You ran away because I ran away and secretly, this whole time, we were both interested in each other?” Adam ran a hand through his hair, “Katy must be sitting in Arkansas, laughing her ass off.”

“Probably,” Kris nodded.  “Probably collecting her money from my momma.”

“Nah, your momma would know better,” Adam joked, “Katy’s collecting from Daniel.”

The band launched into a country remix of classic rock and okay, Adam was done listening to them.  Plaid rock just didn’t do it for him.  He held out his hand to Kris, “Wanna go back to the tent?  Mom gave me a casserole.  I was thinking that we could invite over Lexie and reheat it?  Maybe start from there?”

Kris stood and took Adam’s hand and pulled him down – because he was still short – and kissed Adam until Adam’s toes curled. 

Kris looked up through his eyelashes and Adam felt his cheeks heat, “How about you and me go back to the tent?  You put on a little music and we leave Lexie out of it for now.  We still have some… talking to do.”

Kris had all the best ideas.


	10. Epilogue

Brad was crying, like seriously bawling into his white, lacy handkerchief. 

Adam wasn’t crying. 

He couldn’t otherwise the little angel on his lap would start and then the whole church would turn and look at her and she’d get embarrassed.  Adam was supposed to be her handler; she was one of the stars of the show today.  Kris was doing his ex-husbandly duties and making sure that everything was set up before the music started, while Angel just sat on his lap and gummed her fist, looking like a princess in her custom designed flower girl dress and rocking her black leather jacket – Adam’s contribution to her outfit.

Kris slid into the seat beside Adam and smiled at Angel who blew a spit bubble in reply.  His arm slid around Adam’s waist and Adam leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek.  He could hear Kris’ momma’s aww from behind them.  The music started and everyone stood, turning around to see Katy with her father right beside her.  Cassidy had outdone himself this time.  She was gorgeous, just like Angel.

Adam held Angel up as Katy passed, “Wave to Mommy, Angel.  Isn’t she beautiful?”

“She really is,” Kris breathed out.  “You ever think that maybe one day we’ll get to do that?”

“Wear a gorgeous dress?” Adam whispered back, “All you gotta do is ask babe, I’m sure Brad’ll be happy to lend you one of his ball gowns.”

Kris elbowed him and held up Angel’s pet Rabbie for her when she started to fidget, “You know what I mean, the whole big wedding thing.”

“Is this a proposal?” Adam raised an eyebrow.  “Because if it is, I totally accept.  You're still going to have to do-over, somewhere romantic, but I am totally going to say yes. ”

“Doofus,” Kris smiled. 

“You should ask Brad,” Adam joked.  “He’s probably got the whole thing planned out already.  So when do I get my ring.”

"Maybe later if you’re good,” Kris waggled his eyebrows.

Adam groaned and ducked a few glares from people sitting beside them, “That was terrible, Kris.  Really bad.  It’s a good thing I love you.”

Kris smiled and leaned in for a kiss, “Love you too.”

Things had taken a while to get onto the right track but now?  He had his boyfriend – fiancé? – beside him, his goddaughter on his lap and he was about to watch one of his best friends get her heart's desire.  God knew how he got this lucky but honestly, life really couldn’t get better than this.

 


End file.
